Month: December 2017

Oral Orders

Why do people say ‘I have loved you since the first time I saw you?’ I have often asked myself whenever I come across declarations of love.
Maybe it because they later realise the unexplainable, magnetic feeling at the first moment was love.
Maybe
I can say I have never felt that type of love. Lust. Definitely. But not love at first sight.

The one. There is no one ‘the one’. That is something I’ve learnt. Me. Mad love. Men? Maybe. I have found the one twice. Thrice. Five times actually. Certainty assures me I’m going to meet more. Each love was different and with some it wasn’t even love.
The one is a list of qualities in a person compatible enough to create wanted memories.
Having sex with a partner you are in love with. I find this type of sex too heightened, self conscious. Moving, slow. Often clumsy but loving. Sex when you’re in love is better, they say.

Yet.
Sensually heaving above straddled slimmer hips while depressed is invigorating. It reveals empty sadness and a feel good activity tumbling in bed. I usually stay off sex during bouts of depression. “I’m unwell” I say. Other times I utilise the admiration, comfort, companionship to help my ill self.
Darts, licks and nibbling by tongues inject my lost mind with vigor and brief life. These are the times I’m your dream casual sex partner or withdrawn lover. No post coitus showers together. My usually dancing naked figure will quietly dress up and leave. Cuddling is unwanted. Depression wants you to make me feel good but I doubt the genuinity of your care.

Even though the happy and sad emotional extremes shape my sexual experience. My favourite is right in the middle. When I’m content, healthy and with someone new.
Newness is so intoxicating.
Its a time to explore, discover, observe, experiment. I’m referring to the first time or first three times. A humbling moment of realization, you have been accepted.
Newness is exhilarating. There is a pleasure I get from reading a resolved plot or receiving alerts about returns from investments. Being with someone new is a sensual overload of learning, pleasure, anxiousness and excitment. Using my gaze to follow their nakedness being unwrapped for the first time is…is…it just is! Is indescribable.

Its why I no longer bother to remember my body count. A male friend says, “its a reason why men cheat”.

Fuck the sex. Its the beauty of witnessing the unveiling of the free black form in all it’s melaninated curved glory. Beauty? Its the mundane process of getting to know this potential lover. This unveiling being maybe the only way you desire to know them. Of seeing the world through their eyes. Regardless of how brief it might be. Drop mind explorations. Its the primal grinding, sweating, clasping, licking, pumping of black magical beings. The thrill of being yet again another self of you.  Though that first time isn’t always the best experience.

If I have learnt anything about sexual experience and mental states.
I have learnt..
Sex. The activity, its biology or social implications aside. Its different emotions help shape its enjoyment. As such sex can be disconstructed to these feelings. If you can’t identify what you need. Your want of companionship from a casual sex partner will ruin your chances of toe curling oral oragsms from them. For example.
Or you’ll find yourself fanning the yellow flames of an invigorating affair while in loving relationship.

In whatever mental or emotional state I am submerged in. I promise to identify what I want my sexual experience to satisfy. I must be unshamed being in these states. 

 

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Amethyst’s 2017 Holiday Reads.

It truly is a season to be jolly and  grateful.

The holidays here in Nigeria are usually exciting. It’s exciting because we have the Christmas, Boxing Day and New Year celebrations. I don’t have to spend this Christmas on campus finishing a semester. One of my rewards for the end of productive, well attended semester was getting books. For other reasons like my insatiable love of reading I have holiday reads!!

These are What I Am Reading this holiday.

A. Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okpranta.

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“Watching her walk away that night, I felt more happiness than I had felt in a long time. If I could have sped up the hands of time, I would have done so, so that next week would be tomorrow”.

“With a man, life is difficult. Without a man, life is even more difficult. Take it from me”.

Those quoted parts of the book stood out to me. The first quote perfectly illustrates Ijeoma’s love for Ndidi while the latter depicts Mama’s view about the necessity of Ijeoma getting married. I must say I haven’t read a book with this many chapters, seventy-seven of them! The initial chapters of the book focused on Ijeoma, the main character’s childhood on the Biafran side during the Nigerian Civil War. I liked this because I was yet to read a none political narrative about this side of the historic war.

She loses her father during a raid on their home in Ojoto, Aba. Mama and her leave the village and she goes to become a housegirl at her late father’s friend house. There she meets Amina, falls in love and is caught as a lesbian. Mama who had settled somewhere else came to take her away.

Through out the book we see Ijeoma struggle with her sexuality, Christianity and responsibilities as a female. She later falls in love with Ndidi, finds a lesbian community and self loathes herself.  After an inhumane burning of some homosexuals. She reluctantly dates her childhood friend then marries him. Ijeoma is hunted about her abominable sexuality and struggles to be a good wife to Chibundu. Inability to get preganant or have a male child put a strain on their marriage that breaks the couple apart.

“My point is that business is the reason for things like doctrines. Business is the reason for words like ‘abomination’. The church is the oldest and most susuccessful business known to man”.

These were Chibundu’s comforting words to Ijeoma who was worried her child would have disabilities as a result of her past ‘sins’.  The narrative echoes many unanswered questions of mine about the Bible’s point of view on homosexuality. Showing how inhumane, disapproving and scary these views truly are. I found the many chapters were Mama drummed in these views into Ijeoma discomforting. Sadly I knew it’s something many Nigerians would do. It’s an apt depiction of the issues Nigerian homosexuals face. It’s also a stunning coming of age novel. I was delighted when Ijeoma finally realised it was her life to live. I loved this book set in one of my state of origins, Abia State. It’s already part of my library.

B. The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives by Lola Shoneyin

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This novel is dramatic! It perfectly depicted the antagonistic drama one finds in a polygamous home. A reader can, only chant ‘poor Bolanle’ while reading this revealing story. Lola Shoneyin’s classic is truly filled with secrets and well titled. This novel was a colorful companion during hours of road travel across Cross River during my vacation tour of the state last week.

What I found profound about this book is that each woman had her sad tale of irrelevance, humiliation, struggle that seemed to end with their marriage to Baba Segi. A triumph Bolanle’s presumed barreness threatened to destroy. I admired various qualities of all the characters. Bolanle, the university graduate who marries Ishola Alao aka, Baba Segi to escape an emptiness of self caused by rape is the heroine. She faces opposition, hostility, mistreatment, verbal abuse and even assault from other wives. These wives are Iya Segi, the first wife and frog, Iya Tope, the aponda and second wife and Iya Femi, the selfish beauty and third wife. There were the children and other minor characters.

Major themes of this book are infertility, infidelity, secrecy, antagonism. I found a few interesting ironies. Such as, ‘Baba Segi’s big testicles were empty and without seed’. Also he regularly ‘pounded his wives’ with his surprisingly large penis but all his wives felt sex with their lovers were better. Teacher, Baba Segi’s trusted confidant and advisor in the end ill advised him so he could patronize his establishment. All the wives disliked that Bolanle had something they had desired for a long time, which was education.

This novel paints how people’s antagonism can spring up not only from malice but from insecurities, or hidden agendas. A lesson I learnt earlier in life. I loved the book and the fact that Bolanle found herelf.

C. The Small Print by Abimbola Dare

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Honestly I haven’t finished reading this ebook. I had waited for Roving Heights to have it back in stock. Then I saw a post on the author’s instagram page. that showed I could get her books on Okadabooks. I bought the ebook quarter the price of its paperback. Grinning with excitement I started reading the inspirational romance with a mustard top wrapped around my dripping freshly washed hair.

I must say the way the novel started quiupped my curiosity beyond measure. I felt Wale’s anxiety, worry and determination. As the story progressed I met other characters like obsessive Andrea Jennifer Lennox, beautiful Sade, irritating Bode William, determined Eniola and other characters who help shape the progressing narrative.

The novel has themes of tempted faith, infertility, infidelity, quest for independence, deceit. I’ll admit many things some characters did upset me but I love how the narrative inserts relatable words of God. It’s been a while I have read an ininspirational romance. The plot twists and conflicts are just brilliant!

D.The Miseducation of Obi Ifeanyi by Chinedu Achebe

I saw this ebook advertised on Okadabooks’ instagram page with an intriguing description. Talk about a written reality show of a Nigerian family. I had to add it to my reading list.

E. Men of Valor by Kiru Taye

Men of Valor is made up of Book 1,2 and 3 by best-selling romance author Kiru Taye. I have looked for how to purchase this collection in Naira. I finally have! Men of Valor is an historic African romance series. If you loved A Woman In Her Prime, Joys of Motherhood, Things Fall Apart, you’ll love this genre also. I have read praising reviews of Kiru Taye’s writing. She writes heart warming romance and steamy erotic scenes. I read her scintillating Thighs Fall Apart erotic fan fiction of Things Fall Apart. I got it on Okadabooks for N899.

Dramatic Family Classics, Historical African Romance, Coming of Age Gay Romance, Inspirational Romance. I think I’m set to end 2017 reading enclosed in the finest of Nigerian literature.

ORAL ORDERS

I love feminine hormones. They are your body’s Generals. They make your inner voice scream or complain repeatedly till you take action.
“Buy Fayrouz and Pineapple Fanta with some frozen yogurt. I want Mango Gelato”.
“I want him. Flirt!”
“It stinks, stay clear”.
“Don’t touch me!”.
Their orders will make you laugh, cry and desperately try to pacify an uninhibited you.
 **
When I think about us two days ago I laugh.
I went from craving your touch to shrugging off your arms.
Days ago my eyes muttered to your disinterested physique.
Why won’t you touch me?
After my menstruation started I couldn’t even sit beside you without irritation. Irritation at your pretentious show of affection in the presence of others.
Dont touch me”, my curt voice would warn from my retreating voluptuous body.
 **
Feminine hormones, I love their advanced sophistication. Often times when those red riverlets trickle into the white cushion nested in between by thick thighs. My level of arousal increases. Simple yet thoughtful compliments harden my nipples like tasty awin.
I don’t want cuddles. I want pleasurable slow, determined strokes into my rectum with the scent of coconut oil spasming out my glowing butt cheeks. I don’t want cuddles. I want caring hands to hold my butt while his lips stamp my spine with moist kisses. Then gently squeeze it until the faint cellulite streaks pop and sensually rub the fat pockets. Heck, he could spank them and catch the jiggle in his caring hands.
Maybe having you squeeze my stubby fingers reassuringly when cramps pulled my brows into a pained furrow won’t be irritating.
Yet when the cramps knitted my perfect brows into pained furrows you didn’t ask if I was okay. You didn’t hold my palm or kiss the back of my hand. What a romantic weekend getaway.
I want to be untouched yet I desire the next scintillating gentleman that walks by.
Sophistication.
 **
Seeing the red riverlets signals the beginning of a new biological month.
Which makes it..
Time for me to plan its sex schedule and reevaluate the previous month’s dick appointments. You certainly won’t be in this month’s sex schedule.
And also makes me..
Relieved my contraceptives haven’t failed me.
I love feminine hormones and how they clarify the boldness in my voice and improve the satisfaction receptors of my mouth.