Month: January 2018


Sex and Friends.

A while back those two words would not be conjunctive for me.

Compatibility. Companionship. Communication.

These have been things I need in any partnership or friendship. Any sexual partner of mine would be a goal digging friend. For months I didn’t need the disconnection of casual sex.

This differs from “friends with benefits”. How? Instead of having casual sex with a friend. Friendship and sex are different investments into the polyamorous relationships by my partners. The thin line of difference is the defined commitment of a romantic relationship that isn’t just sexual. I don’t know if I’d want to change this in months to come. However, I don’t feel comfortable having casual sex with my friends. I try as much as possible not to. Most times, in a budding friendship friends come to a stage where they decide to or not to pursue developing feelings of care and admiration along romantic or sexual lines. If the friendship is foundation of a partnership, fine.

Friends and sex talk. Most females have members of the Girl Squad or male friends they give juicy recaps of sexapades. Some lesson I have learnt so far: Don’t kiss and tell. No slut or body shaming of my male sexual partners. If I have an issue with a partner I tell them before I confide in a friend or our mutual friend. Often times, some friends may and can betray your confidence maliciously or unintentionally. Or your friend might think it’s inappropriate talk but not have the heart to dissuade excited you. If and when seeking advice I open up to mature sexually active females or males who haven’t betrayed my confidence. These days there are social media platforms for relationship advice where one can anonymously seek advice from thousands of people. The danger with that is too many people with different values will give their opinions and advice from their point of views.



“value added sex,


more exploration of my queer, kinky sexual interests.”

These are my sexuality goals for 2k18. I had written my sexual health goals for the new year in December. It had taken me a while to decide what I wanted to achieve this year with my sexuality. Now that I do know, it will guide my sexapades.

Stolen Bad Luck

Stolen bad luck makes me feel empty.

It makes me feel sad. Why would someone steal away all my bad luck for the beginning year? It’s upsetting that something so tragic happened at my favourite ice-cream parlor.


There is this void I feel when I remember I have no phone to connect with the world and my safe spaces online.

Stolen bad luck took my beautiful pictures, quirky videos, curated contacts, starred WhatsApp chats and fantastic ebooks.

On the bright side, I have been able to see how much having a mobile device influenced my habits and time.

I still gingerly take each day as it comes. I’m not brazen because I have no bad luck left in 2018.

I’m sad but hopeful for what the future holds.

PS: Until I get a new phone I won’t publish stories, reviews or send out newsletters as frequently.