Month: January 2018


I haven’t washed your oversize baseball shirt. I couldn’t bring myself to. It smells just like you. You know, your scent of dope greatness, ease and godly insight.
If I could capture your scent into a tiny grey tinted glass perfume oil bottle. I will.
I will drop your scent on my left shoulder. Just where my cheek rests on in bliss after your gentle, deepest thrusts make me cry out on ecstasy.
But I have no perfumed oils of you.
So I’ll wear your shirt after I wash off my workout sweat. As my hands will rub mocha lather over my glowing melanin. I’d remember how your slender fingers wash my shoulders while your soft brown lips kiss my nape. “Yuck”. “STOP”. I’d say then. “Just wash my back!”, I’d order in between neck twists, giggles and bubbles.

I guess I can say I washed your shirt if it’s draped over my damp skin. It’s clean if it’s fabric brushes off tiny water beads from my areola. If it’s movements; brushing and light grazing against my hazelnut sized nipples brings memories flashing. Memories of me unbuttoning its white plastic buttons and sliding its off white contrast away from your dark chocolate slender chest. Memories of how your tongue swirls erotic wonder around my areola like the passion fruit in R.S.V.P’s sweet Pornstar Martini. Of memories of laughter, Afrobeats playing, sweet names calling, career advancement planning. These memories coloured by weed smoke films, vibrant Ankara throw pillows and faint snack munching.

You say you’d be back for your shirt and me. Till then my nose will be buried it, my naked curves rolling in it.
Until my Obsessive Conpulsive Disorder drags me away from nostalgia and dilutes your scent with Zip detergent water.




To me literature, food, art and music all form integral parts of culture. Mainly because they all involve the creative process of birthing, documenting and sharing life. This Friday mid morning I settled down to read NATIVE magazine. It’s first issue, BIRTH documents the rebirth of Afrobeats. A delightful, vibrant, talent curated music magazine.



This segment of the magazine showed interviews with creatives from different fields about how they circumvent creative blocks. Their answers have taught me more ways to deal with creative blocks and lows. In between the interviews are crisp, tasteful photos of these creatives.

The Golden Question

“What do you do to get yourself out of the inevitable lows of the creative process(writer’s block,etc)?”

FALANA’s answer reminded me to enjoy the creative process. She’s at a point where she celebrates the lows. Also to do new things to get my mind off the specific project. This is something I already do.

I just walk away without judgement, trusting that I am closer to where I want to be.

LADY DONLI’s answer begins with ‘I look for new experiences.’

There is always something to write about, you just need to find it.

I can attest to the magical truth of this. Going exploring, travelling or going on road trips, as she stated do help. Whenever I remember my December week long vacation spent touring Cross River State, Nigeria. I feel uplifted from creative lows.

SANTI’s response to this question felt directed at me. Because often times facing reality (the things that might stress you, or certain problems you might be facing as he explained) or being too comfortable can cause creative lows.

The key to getting out of blocks for me is just understanding where you are at and allowing your mind make the best out of it.

Find new things outside to bring into the comfort zone, he states.

Other responses I loved..

There reaches a point when I just know it’s time to let go. Time is too precious to keep hanging back and hanging on; let go and watch with pride and wonder.

– Polly Alakija, artist.

You can be reborn in many ways. You can be reborn religiously, you can be reborn in art. It is in itself doing something better than you did the first time.

-Adey, music producer.

I almost forgot to mention the cover story was BURNA REBORN. Three four words.. I Love Burna Boy.


Burna Boy says while welcoming his interviewer, Ayoade Bamgboye into his home.

I enjoyed reading about one of my favourite new age Afrobeat/AfroFusion artistes. I could wax on and on about how I was moved with his unwavering knowledge of who is his, his music and his purpose. How at ease with himself, life and others which Ayoade Bamboye observed. It reminded me of his personality and attitude when I met him at the Port-Harcourt airport years ago. He was so warm, friendly and positive with my baby brother. It isn’t everyday you read about certain similarities between yourself and such a music superstar.

This was an excellent first issue. Lovely quality, amazing photographs, sensational words, phenomenal insight into our current culture.


DEPARTURE by Roman Oriogun

I came across these poems on Brittle Paper while on a bus ride. I remember the poet’s name from the 14:We are Flowers Anthology I read last year. I enjoyed Departure. My heart aches with each line and smiled with others.

“i was born to be darkness hiding under a cave

& i know the weight of exile in a body”.

The first poem called Departure artistically narrates being queer in a dangerous and unaccepting place and painful departure of lovers to better places. It paints the experience of being gay in Nigeria where it is illegal and punishable by imprisonment or death by a mob. The poems are informal using imagery, repition, first person and stream of consciousness narrative techniques. These all make me love the poems.

“The streets hum with voices,

vehicles run into the rising sun,”

The above lines are an example from the second singing poem, Kumbaya. The last poem Saddest Night Alive, also narrates a tale of a distraught lover, fragile love, longing and nightmares of being killed.

“I’m learning how to live with this fear of not finding love”. 

I can say the above sentence is one that echoes a fear of mine. Why is it so difficult to find someone to genuinely love me for more than a minute?

Click the Brittle Paper link to read the poem. Share your thoughts on longing for love from a departing lover.


How do I set a dick appointment?

I usually need a few things in scheduling the dick appointment;

  • Sexual desire
  • My period calendar
  • My updated work/school schedule or calendar.
  • Bought choice of contraception
  • My recent STI, STD and HIV test results.
  • List of potential sexual partners names and their contacts.

Firstly, I ask “do I really want to have sex?” Next question would be “can I?” If I’m abstaining or ill. I can’t have sex. If its ‘yes’ to both questions. I use my period calendar to pick dates that aren’t on my fertile week (which includes my ovulation date) and menstruation days. To make sure I can have sex on those dates I cross check my work and school schedules. Its not fun rushing out the morning after from another state to an 11am Saturday semester test. Neither is it cute being tired the next day at work because of poor dick appointment scheduling. Once I have a few convienent dates I note them as D.A days on my calendar.

My sexual health is a priority of mine. Having sex safe from sexually transmitted infections, diseases or even unwanted pregnancies is paramount. I have a medicine bag filled with contraceptives I use. Oral contraceptives, female condoms, emergency contraceptives and a variety of lubes.

‘Your sexual health is your responsibility’, my mother always told me.

I’m trying to say you should have your own contraceptives. Male condoms do fail. Plus using contraceptives with condoms(female or male) increases protection and prevention rates to 97%. After buying or bringing out my unexpired contraceptives. I check my recent STI, STD and HIV/AIDS tests. If they are still relevant, its a go. HIV/AIDS test results aren’t relevant 3 months afterwards. If I just finished medication for an infection I test again.


I want to have sex. I can. I’m prepared to safely have it. Its time to decide which whose D I want.

**Insert** list of potential sexual partners. Potential sexual partners can be a new guy, the usually casual sex partners, the boyfriend, reappearing old lovers, partners, etc. Anyone I’m comfortable having sex with. Persons who have communicated their desire to have sex with me recently. The list is made up of legally aged males, unmarried men, men free from STIs, STDs and HIV/AIDS, men who use condoms, men whom I have defined relationships with. Updating my list regularly helps me remove persons I have had unenjoyable, unsafe, uncomfortable experiences with.

Don’t play yourself.

Final step is asking each contact I want if they are available for a date with me. I state I would like to have sex with them afterwards. Then I request for their STI, STD and HIV tests results. Nothing happens till I see these. Not every guy will be available. If more than one is available. I schedule the least persons I want to see to later D.A marked days on my calendar with 24hrs reminders. Confirm the dick appointment before you prepare for it or leave for the venue.

All that is left is to prepare. Planning sex may not be as fun as being spontaneous. However it is important. Especially as a young female professional or student trying to maintain healthy sex life.