Author: Adaeze Feyisayo

Adaeze Feyisayo is a creative and budding legal professional. She's a book lover, writer and curator of African literature. Her chicklit, erotic stories and conversations encourage healthy relationships for females, their sexuality and the world. On days she's not resisting her chocolate and ponmo addiction. She's vibrantly living, capturing magic, relearning life and impacting those around her.

Bookish Wallpaper

Click to download this bookish wallpaper.

Next to my love for books and beating my reading goals. I love lingerie. I just got these exquisite ones from BE_NEATH, a Lagos based Lingerie Store. I’m currently seated in rosy sunlight and soft lace drafting petitions.

I’ll be sharing pictures and lessons from ALitFest19 I attended in Abuja last weekend later this week.

Dont forget to breathe and glow Gem.

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Abuja-Yola Flight Read: Lákíríboto Chronicles

Lakiriboto Chronicles by Ayodele Olofintuade

Blurb

A brief history of badly behaved women. Morieba, Moremi,Kudirat and Tola were victims of Alagbado clan’s long-held tradition of silence, connivance and duplicity, until Raufu Alagbado(aka OloriEbi, Raffie the Razor) sets off a series of events in an attempt to make his dead sister’s Will permanently disappear. Murder, betrayal, revenge..a woman’s body is a crime scene.

Reading Update

The book kicks off with the death of Alhaja and Moremi learning how to mourn and how society can make one invisible. We also meet Tolu a woman who is healing from a C-section delivery, not leaving her bed ignoring her new born baby and family. There is a guardian demon..I’m excited about this book. I had to buy a personal copy at ALitFest 2019.

Have you heard or read this book? Comment your thoughts Gem.

Guess whose back?! *in Nadia Rose’s voice* Its weird to hear rain in Yola caused an hour flight delay. 3rd term of Nigerian Law School begins, pray for me Gems.

My Max Air Experience

My Dad was excited to book with them because they are new airline. They made mistake registering my name which wasn’t corrected. However it was highlighted to boarding staff. I boarded hitch free. None of my belongings are missing or were tampered with. I enjoyed the MaxAir Flight and pastries. But not the initial turbulence or plane noise. Their ticketing staff were cordial though. I’m thankful for journey mercies. Now I have to unpack and settle into campus.


Have a splendid week ahead Gem!

JULY

Welcome to July Gems. Find out what I’ve been up to!

I’ve spent my time off the blog wrapping up my Externship in Abuja, struggling with lack of motivation and stress. Going to the law chambers 8am-6pm for 6 weeks was exhausting!

I apologise for not welcoming you to July and the second half of the year.

That is the last box on my way out of Abuja.

I’m writing this at the Boarding gate of Domestic Terminal at Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport Abuja waiting for my flight to Yola. I resume 3rd term of Nigerian Law School tomorrow and write my Bar Final next month. I will post at least once a week, either a story or poem, opinion piece, mini review or just pictures. I need to focus on my examinations preparations.

How did I function with lack of motivation? I did at least 2 tasks I needed to do, cared for my body, self affirmed positivity daily, listened to loved ones which in a way made me feel good also. I also kept a reward in mind; aceing my portfolio assessment, getting called to the Nigerian Bar and attending ALitFest with my creative friends flying into Abuja my last weekend.

On Platonic Love and Friendships

This culture of isolation of married people or people in a relationship is very very toxic. It’s how your friends suffer in silence.

Work on your insecurity o.

You cannot underrate the positive impact of healthy friendships on romantic relationships of the friends. If your friend can’t check on your partner, wow. But draw that line. A good friend will respect it.
Stop isolating your partner.Your partner should choose you if any inappropriate friend is “seducing” them.

Your partner should choose you. Whether or not you monitor them like NASA.

Stop isolating your partner from other healthy relationships in their lives. People need platonic love and intimacy beside their significant others. They just need to talk, cry laugh and breathe outside their “us”.
Where is this possess whom you love shit from?Where is this possess whom you love shit from?

Experience and let flourish. Stop trying to own people because you swapped love emotions.

Stop possessing or isolating your beloved.
Stop limiting someone you claim you love from enjoying their life. Yes, they should have a portion of life outside you. Jeez. I can’t even stand toxic monogamy. Unlearn the shit relationship with love your parents modelled to you. I’ve found myself explaining platonic love and intimacy to a few people recently. It exists, and it’s really amazing. That’s probably why you are insecure. Don’t be.

Platonic love and intimacy is not a fancy phrase for sleeping with your friend please.

I see people doing gymnastics to enjoy their friendship with me because their partners aren’t comfortable with it. When I spend 70% of our time listening to them talk about their partner. Loving multiple people doesn’t mean “a love’ is invalidated.

Learn how to love a person without putting your body organ on/in theirs. You can love someone and not be in love with them. You dont have to always be in a relationship or have sex with them just because you need to talk with someone.
Teach yourself how to delineate romantic sexual love from platonic love. You might just need to find yourself and have healthy friendships not that sexual relationship.Jealousy is a valid emotion. Feel jealous, Express it.

I say every emotion is valid and necessary, both good and bad. It’s about how you show it. But I’ve learnt it’s also about how you let them affect your own life like Amaka said yesterday.

I remember the first time I felt jealous in a long time. Wow. Jealousy is hurt wearing an agbada of anger rolling it up with entitlement.