Off the Continent

Find all my writings about none African literature and fiction in this category.

How to Win Friends and  Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

READING AND BOOKIE LIFE UPDATE

“An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.”

“Don’t criticize, condemn or complain”. Instead of condemning people trying to understand them gives their reasons for doing things. This more profitable as it breeds sympathy, kindness and tolerance.

I’ve read four chapters between Parts 1 &2. The life principles in this groundbreaking guidebook is making me question, learn and act. Different stories of people who practically lived using these principles are narrated.

A recommended text for my Professional ADR Skills and Accreditation and Certification Course Modules 1& 2 hosted by Insitute of Chartered Mediators and Conciliators (ICMC Nigeria). My week has been fast paced and productive.

I learnt how to tender a proper apology during the Mediation training yesterday. Which made me realise how some apologies I’ve given are inadequate.

1. ‘I Am Sorry’, acknowledge your action with sincerity.

2. Be specific about what you’re sorry for.

3. State what you intend to do to prevent a reoccurrence.

I’m writing my accreditation exams this weekend. Mock Trial is here and its preparations have swallowed my evenings. I volunteered to be a Judge. This should help me practise my communication skills and knowledge of Criminal Law.

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How to Win Friends & Influence People

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice in this groundbreaking guidebook teaches;

*The Six Ways to Make People Like You,

*The Twelve Ways to Win People to your Way of Thinking,

*The Nine Ways to Change People without Arousing Resentment and much more.

It is a recommended read for the Professional ADR Skills and Accreditation and Certification Course Modules 1& 2 hosted by Insitute of Chartered Mediators and Conciliators (ICMC Nigeria).

I was delighted when I got this book this morning. I’d just shared on my WhatsApp, ‘I am tired of people. I just want to read and eat’. My delight was short-lived finding out the Accreditation Exams are on Sunday. But reading this widely raved book and getting professional ADR Skills is exciting. This simply means its going to be a long week ahead. I need to conclude LIE TO ME, DAN by Longrin Wetten and share my review soon. I hope I can submit my due draft for The Spine in Her Back today. Law School is stretching me o.

I shared a gush-fest review of captivating The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid yesterday on my bookstagram. Do check it out Gem!

Weekend Reads And Other Adventures

Sunday

“The sensual caress of pink silk and fresh sheets.

The rustling fuschia petals hanging over love notes to self.

Your corner of the universe couldn’t be more comforting.”
By Amethyst Saw

Because books are the best breakfast. Current read off my March TBR- Law Textbooks. And some study reward chapters of Lie to Me Dan by Longrin Wetten.

Saturday

Yesterday, I started and concluded writing a daring, erotic flash story for my manuscript. It’s achingly beautiful seeing ORANGE PETALS AGLOW GLASS SKIES take shape. All I can say is anticipate my debut collection!

BOOK REVIEW: Glorious Sinner by Sherilee Gray

I also finished reading a romance ebook that isn’t on my TBR. Glorious Sinner, A Lawless Kings Novella by Sherilee Gray got me moaning and arrgh hopeful!

It’s the story of Stephanie who narrowly escaped death in an abusive marriage. How she picks herself up and works on healing and regaining a sense of self. In the midst of this is Tomas who took her to the hospital when she was broken and bleeding. He’s a teenage crush of Stephanie but a criminal boss of the city. A sizzling attraction between them grows. Stephanie exotic dances but is worried Tomas only sees her as a wounded woman. Tomas stops his year long patronage of her lap dances because he can’t take waiting for her to move past emptiness. While trying to decide the step forward, Stephanie’s new world is threatened by her stalking, abusive ex-husband. Tomas decides to house her while he tracks down Ryan. Fearful he might loose her like his mother.

While all this is going on we see a strong woman who was gaslighted, belittled and sexually abused regain, confidence, control and pleasure over her sexuality. It was beautiful seeing this journey and watching the characters fall in love. Tomas respects and loves Stephanie and their story ended happily to my satisfaction.
It was a delightful read slattered with combustible sexual tension, intrigue and action. I highly recommend this book with four fireworks!

Friday

I reviewed some notes from Week 13 Lectures. Began reading Glorious Sinner by Sherilee Gray.

THE COLOUR OF STRUGGLE-ELLA CHIKEZIE

A talented poet and blogger, Ella Chiekezie debuted a superb spoken word and acoustics video, THE COLOUR OF STRUGGLE.

“Struggle is the colour of blood/ of oil seeping through the cracks”

It’s shot in Lagos, Nigeria and tells the varying stories and colours of people trying their best with life. It urges you to live while soothing acoustics laps over you like the ocean the actors watch in the 2 mins video. Watch this humbling piece and thank me later Gem!

Warm welcome to the new week Gem!

I really wish you safety, productivity and peace.

Life Lessons from The Girl on the Train

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

I read this bestselling psychological thriller yesterday evening and couldn’t help but deeply sigh.

I’ll admit I have the habit of storing up classics and bestsellers for future times when I’ll need an amazing read. So, I was reading My Favourite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren and the heroine, a criminology professor, mentioned the book while trying to remind her caller about their past movie date. It made me realise I have this book!

I began reading this ebook narrated in first person by unreliable Rachel, Megan and Anna. A spell-binding, emotional and delightful read. I didn’t drop the book until I finished it 4 hours later. The spectacular end was worth it! Yay Rachel!

I love that the book truthfully depicts infertility, infidelity, mental health care, psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting partners, alcoholism, crime and dangers of assumptions. This novel, its plot twists and revelations, Rachael’s growth all made me think of some of my experiences with blackouts, gaslighting partners and effects of infertility to a marriage.

Description

The plot revolves around Rachel Watson an alcoholic, downtrodden divorcée who takes the same commuter train into London every day, despite having being unemployed for months.

What she sees on these gin-fuelled, tear-streaked journeys, as her train winds its way through a London suburb, draws her into the disappearance of one of the residents she regularly watches, an uncomfortable relationship with her ex-husband’s new partner and a grisly murder investigation.

It’s a slow-building, suspense-wrapped plot that takes a peek at the dark reality of suburbia, as told from the point of view of three, at times startlingly unhinged, women.

This book made me grateful I haven’t had my trauma-induced blackouts taken advantage of by my loved ones. I’m also grateful I ended my first toxic relationship years ago. I don’t take my Stepdad’s intervention for granted. He noticed how anxious and unsure I was becoming in the relationship with a guy who always criticized me and my efforts amongst other hurtful things. I stayed strong in the relationship. But after the break up I had to heal the unnoticed hurt to my esteem and trust in others.

I think that’s why I completed the book. To know if Rachel would pull herself together, garner some self worth, stop relapsing with alcohol, remember how she acted when she has blackouts. We learn a lot more about suburban London life, Megan and her affairs, unstable Rachel fighting alcoholism, psychological and emotional abuse by male spouses (Scott, Megan’s husband and Tom), kindness, lying Tom, frightened Anna and some much more. Some new words were added to my vocabulary. I enjoyed the way the narrators filled in the plot from different timelines.

Life Lessons from The Girl on the Train

  • Get professional psychological help when getting depression, anxiety, blackouts and other forms of disorders from traumatic experiences. This will provide in depth, insight into your mental and emotional well-being. It usually isn’t enough to speak with loved ones.
  • Heal yourself. Dont help others when broken. It will drain you and likely hurt them too.
  • Take responsibility for your actions in other people’s lives. You might not know the gravity of damage your denial, refusal to apologise, lies are causing.
  • Sometimes staying away from source of trauma isn’t the best. Lean into your emotions. They hardly lie even when the brain doesn’t remember. Self reflection is so powerful. Assess your emotions vis-a-vis your actions.
  • Be very careful how you react in anger. Don’t say things you’ll regret or harm others. Control yourself.
  • You don’t own another human being. I always say a person should never feel entitled to another person’s self, polite anger, blind trust or respect because they love them.
  • If you are saying too many sorrys in a relationship you and your partner need to evaluate.
  • Our actions are interpreted by people’s insecurities, assumptions and perspectives.
  • Strangers are watching you live your life from afar.

More info..

It was published by 13 January 2015 by Riverhead Books in US, 15 January 2015 by Doubleday in UK. This bestseller has a same named movie adaptation directed by Tate Taylor starring Emily Blunt released 7 October, 2016.