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Anal Sex, beginner tips

From my experiences these are some tips for a pleasurable experience.

Anal sex and Adventure are synonymous. Being curious, adventurous and positive makes your first few times fun. I didn’t succumb to pressure from past sexual partners to “try anal” when I wasn’t ready. I did consider it after a partner suggested it.

Don’t be rushed into any sexual act.

You have to talk about your interest and decision to have anal sex, set boundaries. I won’t have anal sex hours long and we stop if the penetrative pain is excruciating. Let your partner know it’s not gay or unnatural to have anal sex. They should drop their internalized homophobia as should you.

So you want to try anal..

It’s important to give your consent and get your partner’s consent before and during the act. Consent is defined under Section 264, subsection 1 of Criminal Law of Lagos State as a person consents if he/she agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make and communicate that choice”. Contravening this implies sexual assault, defilement or rape, which are criminal offences, have occurred.

Safety Next

As my Stepdad will say, “there is no shame in being sexually active. Just be safe.” Next I see approved STI, STD and HIV/AIDs test results and share mine. Use male condoms while having sex.  DO NOT INSERT a used anal condom into the vagina. Bacteria from the anus can travel up the urinary tract and cause Urinary Tract Infection (U.T.I). U.T.I can be an expensive, painful or uncomfortable infection to treat.

Get Clean

Apart from my dick appointment prep routine (from exfoliation to kegel to eating pineapples). Get clean bedding you’ll use after sex. I make sure I bath, my partner baths before and after sex. Having tissue paper, hand sanitizer, air freshener and antiseptic soaps help stop the spread of bacteria.

Foreplay and Oral sex Preludes

Don’t skip erotic foreplay. All the kissing, nipping, licking, sucking, fondling, etc are necessary. Foreplay is relaxing and pleasurable. Oral sex is a *lustful sigh wonderful prelude to anal sex. There is nothing like toe curling, orgasmic cunnilingus or fellatio. A pleasurable rimjob adds a lot of difference to the experience!

‘He gotta eat the booty like groceries’- Jhene Aiko.

Lubrication and Positions

Lubrication is a helpful necessity. As penetration will be initially painful. I prefer natural oils to lubes for anal sex. Coconut oil and Olive oil are two of the best natural oils to use.  I prefer coconut oil because it has more slip. Plus it makes the room smell like a decadent fruit dessert when it mixes with the peach, mango, tangerine-citrus scented room. Maybe I should review my favorite lubes. Maybe? Two common positions are lying down flat on the face or crouching on all fours. The latter position makes penetration easier. Just like my beloved doggy. The former position is more relaxing while the latter is playful. My favorite position is standing but slighty leaning forward on my hands. preferably in front of my large vanity table mirror. I like to watch. The sight of my breasts bound in exquisite black lace, orgasms changing my facial expressions, shimmering fingers on my wide hips are so intoxicating.

Weird things (no one warned me about)

  • that the anal orgasm is weird. It can expel the penetrative organ (fingers or penis) or sex toy after a contraction. I find it as stimulating and profound as a clitoral or vaginal orgasm.
  • the anus has its own oily fluid that feels like it’s still seeping long after sex.
  • the anus has an intoxicating pungent smell that isn’t the same as the smell of faeces.
  • because there are less nerve endings in the anus compared to the vagina. Thrusting and the penetrative organ or sex toy are felt less vividly.
  • that initially penetration will feel like defecation. Weirdest feeling! But it’s a result of the brain associating expansion with that of defecation. Not to worry you aren’t pooping, I murmur.

**Naija Factor**

In this era of Yahoo plus millionaires and fetish peeps pray before you have anal sex with anyone. You should use your gifts and blessings not others. Be intuitive and prayerful!


Choosing Elective Courses to Achieve Career Goals as an Undergraduate

In this new segment, On My Career Path on Equity In Motion. I journal career resource articles for students to make the best of their educational careers while starting off on their career path.

Choosing Elective Courses to achieve Career goals as an undergraduate is the first article just in time for the new session.


The Etisalat now 9mobile Prize for Literature Blog takes you into the bush of books with me.

The Etisalat Prize for Literature has run from 2013-2017 being the first pan-African literary prize that celebrates African writers of a debut published book of fiction. Their blog is a tasteful melting pot for literature.

My interview with them discusses my favourite book and author, my thoughts on the Nigerian reading culture, what book I’d take on a trip and other things. I am extremely delighted and honoured to be interviewed. Read the interview through this link.