Abusive-Relationships

Podcast Review: The Pride Diaries

The Pride Diaries is a podcast on Soundcloud exploring the lives of Nigerian queer folk.

Episodes are a mix of the curator’s comments, soothing music breaks, voice recordings of different anonymous queer Nigerians sharing their opinions, experiences or suggestions on the chosen topic. I think this is the reason why the podcast volume was really low. Queer contributors include lesbian, gay, pansexual, bisexual, etc folks. It such a unique listening experience and it stays true to being a Pride Diaries. I’m so proud of the visibility and community its building. A range of topics have been talked about; Coming out, Promiscuity, Abuse in Queer relationships, Sex, Queer relationships and much more.

As a writer of queer erotic fiction (read this story and check out this series) who is currently reading She Called Me Woman. I understand the importance of telling our stories, finding love and a community. I am elated to discover this podcast Gems!

Yesterday, I listened to Ep 11: Abuse in Queer Relationships and WOW! This episode shared experiences and lessons on abuse in all forms, emotional, psychological, physical and sexual. I consider revenge porn as sexual assault. One narrator’s partner threatened to send her nudes to the narrator’s mother. Also manipulating a partner to have sex instead of apologizing or addressing issues is so wrong. Especially if said person has sex with a partner that doesn’t consent to the intercourse or respond during sex. ABUSE!

Some narrators talked about their past partners who used said partner’s mental illnesses to manipulate and emotionally abuse the narrators. The last contributor shared her experience assaulting a partner and I connected (not approve though) with it. Being in a situation that makes you vividly remember past abuse/assault; can make you attack from apprehension, fear or defence. Contributors shared different definitions of abuse.

Abuse is

-T

Any unfair and unjust manipulation yo. Inhuman and unnecessary behaviour or extremes that are not from a place of love but masked to be..

-F

..its abuse when my partner makes me feel small or worthless or not good enough..

-D

I’m really not about that, if you love me you’ll do this. Constantly using me as a money bag or sex toy. Trying to talk me into doing somethings I clearly don’t want to do..

Amaka, (Business woman, Book Publicist, Queen) mentioned The Pride Diaries to me and I’m in love! Beautiful pictures of (mostly) African queer couples and activists, informative posts, intimate and sexy posts, sex politics, fashionable pictures, real talk, opinion posts, etc are on this Instagram account.

This podcast is necessary, bold and refreshing. Do give it a listen and share your thoughts with me.

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