mental health care

Differentiate

‘Learn to differentiate between the sound of your intuition guiding you and your traumas misleading you’. As seen with Opeyemi Gaji, Poet.

It took me a while to learn this difference. Before I learnt, I still put myself out there. Being hopeful, not holding on to bitterness whenever new hurt stabbed again.

Then I learnt, many times our intuition will warn us of danger. Especially when we haven’t fully healed ourselves from traumatic occurences. We’ll unknowingly continue vicious cycles.

I’m trying to say: HEAL, Reflect, Hope and LISTEN to yourself Gem.

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Self Apology

SELF APOLOGY by Ezinne Ogwumah

Therapuatic. That is the best word to describe this collection. If you need self love mantras, you’ll find many in this book. It’s a book one will always go back to, flip through and draw strength from. Mostly narrated in second person point of view, it an intimate read.

Description

SELF APOLOGY is a collection of short poetry, epigrams and sketched illustrations which talk about self recovery from depression, anxiety, stress and emotional issues by practising the natural act of self love.

It is divided into 3 sections, which focus on the intricate trinity of the human existence-The mind, the body & the soul.

As quoted from the book, “The best times are when you make peace with yourself”.

Its in three parts, For your mind, For your body, For your soul. Of course I began reading from ‘For your Soul’. I love how this books simple words to pass on powerful messages. I’ve never read a poetry book with illustrations before. The symbols portrayed the themes accurately. Although I would have liked more Afrocentric ones.

For Your Body

Poetry on pages 32 and 33 urge us to cry and break down as humans. ‘As long as you don’t go back../ do not repeat the same things that broke you’.

I found profound notes to one’s home, their body. On self care of the body and resting.

If you knew you. You’d never hurt you. Learn forgiveness

On forgiving one’s self for self harm, ‘Why do you feel the need to be punished?’

I must highlight certain daring pieces (pg 16, 17, 14) address mental health, sex and toxic romantic relationships.

For Your Soul

‘Soulfulness is the best thing ever/Don’t be a fool to let it go‘.(pg 46)
‘Listen to the tune of your soul/ Tap into the realm of your purpose’. (pg 45)

There thought-provoking questions that point at us directly asking why we do/ don’t do certain things.

Pg 55, trust yourself before you find a person to trust..

‘More than the words you speak/ Take actions to feed the soul love.’

For Your Mind

‘Feeling enough is gratitude and contentment.’

‘How do you afford to be your own enemy?’ (pg 101)

‘It’s quite important to be better than before you were broken.’

‘Know your worth so they would know/ Home is in you’ (pg 103)

This section encourages one to use gratitude, acceptance, forgiveness, brutal honesty, self-compassion, action to build ourselves and heal one’s minds. Increase the tempo of your kindness to yourself it instructs.

I shared some Favourite Quotes on Valentine day.

More info..
It’s published by LamLam Books in 2018. The illustrations on the book cover are Ndibisi symbols. Illustrations by Lex Design. This is Ezinne Ogwumah, a poet and creative writing blogger at The Drunken Writer. This book has 118 pages. You can purchase it from Amazon or Okadabooks.

Life Lessons from The Girl on the Train

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

I read this bestselling psychological thriller yesterday evening and couldn’t help but deeply sigh.

I’ll admit I have the habit of storing up classics and bestsellers for future times when I’ll need an amazing read. So, I was reading My Favourite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren and the heroine, a criminology professor, mentioned the book while trying to remind her caller about their past movie date. It made me realise I have this book!

I began reading this ebook narrated in first person by unreliable Rachel, Megan and Anna. A spell-binding, emotional and delightful read. I didn’t drop the book until I finished it 4 hours later. The spectacular end was worth it! Yay Rachel!

I love that the book truthfully depicts infertility, infidelity, mental health care, psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting partners, alcoholism, crime and dangers of assumptions. This novel, its plot twists and revelations, Rachael’s growth all made me think of some of my experiences with blackouts, gaslighting partners and effects of infertility to a marriage.

Description

The plot revolves around Rachel Watson an alcoholic, downtrodden divorcée who takes the same commuter train into London every day, despite having being unemployed for months.

What she sees on these gin-fuelled, tear-streaked journeys, as her train winds its way through a London suburb, draws her into the disappearance of one of the residents she regularly watches, an uncomfortable relationship with her ex-husband’s new partner and a grisly murder investigation.

It’s a slow-building, suspense-wrapped plot that takes a peek at the dark reality of suburbia, as told from the point of view of three, at times startlingly unhinged, women.

This book made me grateful I haven’t had my trauma-induced blackouts taken advantage of by my loved ones. I’m also grateful I ended my first toxic relationship years ago. I don’t take my Stepdad’s intervention for granted. He noticed how anxious and unsure I was becoming in the relationship with a guy who always criticized me and my efforts amongst other hurtful things. I stayed strong in the relationship. But after the break up I had to heal the unnoticed hurt to my esteem and trust in others.

I think that’s why I completed the book. To know if Rachel would pull herself together, garner some self worth, stop relapsing with alcohol, remember how she acted when she has blackouts. We learn a lot more about suburban London life, Megan and her affairs, unstable Rachel fighting alcoholism, psychological and emotional abuse by male spouses (Scott, Megan’s husband and Tom), kindness, lying Tom, frightened Anna and some much more. Some new words were added to my vocabulary. I enjoyed the way the narrators filled in the plot from different timelines.

Life Lessons from The Girl on the Train

  • Get professional psychological help when getting depression, anxiety, blackouts and other forms of disorders from traumatic experiences. This will provide in depth, insight into your mental and emotional well-being. It usually isn’t enough to speak with loved ones.
  • Heal yourself. Dont help others when broken. It will drain you and likely hurt them too.
  • Take responsibility for your actions in other people’s lives. You might not know the gravity of damage your denial, refusal to apologise, lies are causing.
  • Sometimes staying away from source of trauma isn’t the best. Lean into your emotions. They hardly lie even when the brain doesn’t remember. Self reflection is so powerful. Assess your emotions vis-a-vis your actions.
  • Be very careful how you react in anger. Don’t say things you’ll regret or harm others. Control yourself.
  • You don’t own another human being. I always say a person should never feel entitled to another person’s self, polite anger, blind trust or respect because they love them.
  • If you are saying too many sorrys in a relationship you and your partner need to evaluate.
  • Our actions are interpreted by people’s insecurities, assumptions and perspectives.
  • Strangers are watching you live your life from afar.

More info..

It was published by 13 January 2015 by Riverhead Books in US, 15 January 2015 by Doubleday in UK. This bestseller has a same named movie adaptation directed by Tate Taylor starring Emily Blunt released 7 October, 2016.

Self for You

To the people who betrayed our trust.

For the shock and crippling pain.

Thank you, for making us stand regal.

When you are in pain it’s so instinctive to lash out. You want closure. Comfort.

But I’ve learnt that instead of withdrawing.

Live.

Process the pain but don’t carry the guilt of the traitor. Never do that. Forgive yourself.

When you are too tired of the heaviness. Tired of tears. Exhale the pain.

When you are in pain. Living can be healing.