self-care

Poetry Album Spotlight: Swim by Titilope Sonuga

SWIM is a poetry album, talented Titlope Sonuga released on 4th October. She had shared some remarkable teaser videos on Twitter before its release.

SWIM is a soul balm for you. It’s an ocean of healing truths poured out of love and journey through time. You can wade in it until you are soothed or drowned in yourself.

7 Healing Lines from SWIM

“Remember rock bottom is always a good place to start rebuilding.”


“The woman is busy
She is in conversations with god
Translating the blue print of creation”


“Baby, I cannot be your life jacket,
Your panic will sink us both.
But if you’re still enough to listen to me,
I’ll teach you how to swim.”

10 things somebody should have taught me:
1. Do not romanticize suffering. There’s nothing poetic about a love that breaks your spirit.
2. Know when to leave. Some bridges need to be burned. Use the light to find a better way.
3. Practice forgiveness. Start with yourself.4. Say no. Do not negotiate with terrorists. Do not bargain for anyone’s love.
5. Friendships end. Let go. Stay open.
6. Save emotional real estate for the ones that will stay. Be soft. Be a safe space for the ones that you love.
7. Create time for yourself. Create something that will outlive you.
8. Do things that move your spirit. Laugh. Cry. Pray.
9. Love yourself as urgently and as completely as you want to be loved
10. Becoming is hard work. Staying the same is even harder.


‘The woman is not your right of passage’


‘The woman is not your youthful mistake.’


“I haunt the house where we planted roses on the roof,turn our love letters into daggers, I disappear the children we did not have, the ribbon in their hair crumble to dust in my hand…I join the legion of broken heart women who tumble into the earth.”

The beautiful cover picture was photographed by Victor Adewale. I’m immensely proud of his work.

Stream it today on Apple Music today.

I’d love to know your thoughts and favourite lines or poems.

Thank you Titilope Sonuga!

Intimacy and Fabstinence

I’m currently a swirl of emotions. I’m proud of how I’ve consistently cared for Lotus (kegel, drinking more water, not washing her with soap, eating pineapples apples,watermelon) and abstained from sex. I feel and smell the difference from all the vaginal care.

I won’t lie, channelling my sexual energy into studying, creativity and blogging has been elevating! Yet for someone who has anticipated ending her sex fast I’m currently uninterested in sex.

“People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realise you can tell someone your truth, when you show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’–that is intimacy.”

-The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

I crave intimacy; romantic and platonic intimacy. I think that’s why I’m most excited for the holidays. I get to spend time talking, cuddling, staring,musing about life, laughing, enjoying silence, kissing, listening to curated playlists… If my sex interest returns, fine. Although, I hope being intimate with loved ones will help me write erotica.

To friends who we agreed to be Fabulous and Abstain together. Kiss you in Lagos!